BaylyBlog: Out of our minds, too...

Lady Gaga and the end of publishing...

(Tim, w/thanks to Kamilla) If you listen the whole way through, you'll get a stereoscopic view of publishing's future. Two views--take your pick.

The pursuit of excellence...

(Tim) Honestly, if we're talking about the pursuit of excellence, these guys have it all over Wheaton's best and brightest.

For scholars and their kingdom...

At that time Jesus said, “I praise You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and intelligent and have revealed them to infants. Yes, Father, for this way was well-pleasing in Your sight. (Matthew 11:25, 26).

(Tim, w/thanks to The Story Behind the Story) Several have pointed me to news items about Wheaton College, recently. The school's about to get a new president. And when a college changes presidents, it's big news. The occasion provides wonderful opportunities for journalists to sell words and profs needing to get it off their chests to pontificate on how indispensable they are and how stupid the trustees are for not consulting them and doing what they want. So with a bunch of Wheaton profs huffing and puffing, it's clear the future of everything most precious is at stake.

During the lead-up to the trustees' announcement of the next Wheaton president, a recent grad wrote a piece that was purchased by Christianity Today's Books and Culture. The piece whined about the previous president's "magisterial" leadership (not a compliment) and ran comments by dyspeptic faculty members licking their wounds over the long years of horrible authoritarianism they've suffered under the current president, Duane Litfin, and his storm-trooper henchman, Stan Jones.

Trace it all back to seventeen years ago when Wheaton's trustees broke the heart of evangelicalism's uber-intellectual, Mark Noll, by choosing a Memphis pastor as their president when Noll had been lobbying for his dear friend and fellow historian, Nathan Hatch. This dust-up had the not-altogether negative result of Noll issuing his very personal payback, The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind; which in turn had the not-altogether negative result of making Noll rich off royalties and helping him with the price of a ticket out of Wheaton to that distinctly non-magisterial Roman Catholic school in northern Indiana called Notre Dame. Some may remember that in The Scandal..., Noll complained evangelical schools work their profs so hard, teaching, they don't have time to do research. Now though, on his profile page at Notre Dame, Noll is happy to inform us he "looks forward to concentrating on fewer subjects." So all's well that ends well.

Back then to the present where, almost two decades after their last hire, Wheaton's trustees were poised to celebrate 150 years with their announcment.

But what about this article about to appear in Books and Culture? Could they allow CTi to run it? Was it really helpful?

Actually not. It was hurtful. It would rein in their parade.

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss...

...we’ve just replaced Bill Hybels and Rick Warren with Tim Keller and Mark Driscoll. -Bill Streger

(Tim) Maybe someone else saying it will take the heat off us.

If yusn hain't seen it yet...

(Tim) In our first pastorate, Mary Lee and I were helping with our youth group and we had a picnic at a pond not a lot different from this mud hole (except it wasn't muddy). One of the high school men had Craig Lowes' water skis and a tow rope in the bed of his pickup and I suggested he tow Mary Lee around the perimeter of the pond with the tow rope tied to his bumper. Few of those there that day are likely to have forgotten the new Presbyterian minister's wife, mother of two (at the time), water skiing Neef's Pond behind the pickup truck.

"'Pocahontas' with blue people..."

(Tim, w/thanks to Nate P.) Avatar short and sweet.

HP's racism...

(Tim, w/thanks to Jeff E.) This one is funny.

The Santa Claus ordeal...

(Tim: This original piece is by my nephew, Isaiah Taylor, from his blog for kids, Bosaiah's Blog. I'm sure our readers agree his creative ability is undeniable. Here's the young gentleman all decked out with his sibs. If you're a child and would like to read Isaiah's blog, send him an e-mail.) Now before I get into this, if you have any siblings (or you yourself) who believe in Santa Claus and the parents want it to stay that way, don't read this to them. I'm giving you you a fair warning because I could get in big trouble if I caused a little kid to drop their belief in Santa when their parents wanted them to think he was real.

The first point I want to make is that Santa Claus is taking the place of Christ in the Christmas season. The name Christmas has a simple meaning: Christ Worship Service. This is supposed to keep the focus on Christ, but the human mind is very inattentive. Most people don't know how this new religion came to be. It starts with a very generous man.

The story of Saint Nicholas tells of a poor man with three daughters...

First they came for the babies, then the cats and dogs...

(Tim, w/thanks to Jiho) For those still inclined to jump on the bandwagon of anthropogenic global warming, take a look at the latest call for repentance. Turns out pets are as bad as cars--SUVs even. So we must repent of our dogs and cats--even our goldfish.

A medium-sized dog has an annual footprint of 2.07 acres, which is about the same carbon footprint as driving an SUV 12,500 miles. John Barrett of the Stockholm Environment Institute was asked to "calculate eco-pawprints," and he summarized his very scientific findings:

"Owning a dog really is quite an extravagance, mainly because of the carbon footprint of meat," Barrett said.

Showing how serious a problem pets are, further calculations revealed cats have an eco-footprint slightly less than driving a Volkswagen Golf for a year, two hamsters are about the same as a plasma television, and even a goldfish burns energy equivalent...

The pope with rouge, mascara, and a perm...

(Tim, w/thanks to David L.) Priceless. Brilliant. MSNBC.

Check out the first few comments...

Christmas cheer for my dear brother...

(Tim) My brother, David, just led his congregation through an intense period of giving towards their first church-house and I'm thinking he may be feeling poor and discouraged right now. You know how leading a building program can take it out of you, right?

So, to encourage him, I wanted to suggest our good readers consider buying him a gift certificate he can use as he sees fit. Any amount would be appreciated, I'm sure...

Brave with squaw...

(Tim) While cruising through Hot Springs, Montana, several weeks ago, Mary Lee and I caught sight of Stephen and Sebra Baker posing in front of their legendary teepee for a marriage portrait. We stopped and caught this pic. It was good finally to be able to prove that thing we'd all heard, but didn't quite believe.

I'm still on the lookout for Wayne and Joyce.

"That's between me and him or her..."

(Tim, w/thanks to Brian) Below is a quote taken from a story about the recent attack and apparent attempted murder of Indiana State Representative Ed Delaney. Both Delaney and his attacker are attorneys.

[Attorney] DeLaney said, Mendenhall reached into a large zippered bag, ostensibly to get a retainer check DeLaney already had declined. He pulled out a gun, wrapped in a plastic bag.

“I thought that I was in a lot of trouble, and I didn’t know why,” DeLaney said. “He asked me if I was right with God, and I said, ‘That’s between me and him or her.’ “ “I said goodbye or whatever to my Lord. I whispered goodbye to my wife. I was afraid I was dead. I said, ‘OK, you’re dead. If you’ve got any chance of coming back ...you’d better go for the gun.’ So I went for the gun.”

Calvin's best and brightest: bestiality, sodomy, and cannibalism...

(Tim) What do you say when Calvin College's confessional Protestant and Reformed faculty members have a hissy fit over their trustees' adoption of a policy barring them from advocating sodomy? What about bestiality--would these magnificent minds object to a policy barring them from advocating sex with animals? And cannibalism--would it be an infringement on academic freedom if they were barred from advocating the haute cuisine of the raft of the Medusa?

One of these is just like the others.

Keep in mind every Calvin faculty member promises, as a condition of his employment, that he will...

St. Matthews Institutional Baptist Church...

(Tim) Mary Lee and I were driving down the street when we saw this sign. I took a pic thinking it must be the world's only church so named, but come to find out there's a new denomination called the Institutional Missionary Baptist Conference of America. You learn something every day.

Can't help wondering: if a denomination starts out institutional, what will decay look like?

Equally yolked...

(Tim) For the person who just arrived here from links provided the Google inquiry, "How can I tell if we are equally yolked," here's my suggestion. Eyeball the yellow parts and see if they look about the same. Simple as pie, actually.

PS: My wife, Mary Lee, thought this post was mean. I reassured her that, actually, it was written about four years ago, and I only just published it today. She was relieved that "equally yolked" isn't around any more.

Franky's freak show...

(Tim, w/thanks to Kevin) Well, friends, it's Franky Scheffer again. Some fool let him out of his cage. He's rabid and frothing at the mouth. Yes, I know it's a little long, but read to the very end...

There's no accounting for taste...

(Tim) Get this. Mike Lockett's watching the WNBA finals because he WANTS to! No, I'm not making it up.

He wants to...

Dya hear about the contest where first prize was free tickets to one WNBA finals game and...

A few people have asked me for my impressions of Bryan Chapell's impressions of General Assembly's decision...

(Tim) A few people have asked me for my impressions of Bryan Chapell's impressions of the wisdom of General Assembly last year in its decision not to have more talk about why Scripture's doctrine of sexuality is hopelessly outdated and wrong. Oh, alright; proponents of the talk did refer to it as a "study committee." And no one actually said Scripture was wrong--that's just my own take on the debate.

Amazing how cheeky these guys are. They just keep coming back, demanding that we listen to them and their friends. Especially One Friend who just this once will remain nameless on this blog.

So Bryan is disappointed in the Assembly's wisdom, in their "no." It's such a harsh word...

Virtual Rube Goldberg device...

(Tim, w/thanks to James) If you haven't seen the fun home page of the Dutch chain store HEMA yet, check it out.

Yes, they're women officers, but they don't teach or exercise authority...

(Tim) Now that it's clear there are women officers in the PCA, I'm guessing their patrons will tell us their women officers are over the entire congregation (not just the women), but that these particular officers never, ever exercise authority over any man. Never.

Then, they'll issue a press release: "Our women officers do not teach or exercise authority over men, but are silent, because Adam was created first, and then Eve; and it was not Adam who was deceived; but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression."

We're waiting. With bated breath.

Our humble, helpful, public servant-leaders...

(Tim) Priceless clip of Congressman Baron Hill telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. This is what we've come to, folks--the arrogance of power devoid of accountability. It's close to impossible, given the rules they've adopted, to remove one of these incumbents from office. And they know it.

Congressman Hill was elected to represent Bloomington and the rest of Indiana's Ninth Congressional District, but he's not going to allow us to tell him what to do. So, I suggest all of us, dear readers, give it the old college try.

Write or call or E-mail him saying you've gotten in touch to make a try at telling him what to do; and that you demand he resign his office.

Seriously.

There is a sense in which clarity may have arrived...

(Tim) When Joseph was at Vandy, we were talking on the phone one time and he said he was thinking of changing his major to philosophy. I discouraged it, although at the time I couldn't put my finger on just why I was negatively predisposed. But just now, I opened an E-mail from the Jeff Moore family and it all became clear.

The scransoms above your head are now ready to flange...

(Tim) How 'bout a dose of John Cleese on a Monday afternoon... skip the first fifteen seconds or so.

Fast as Blazes

(David) Driving to Tahquamenon Falls in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan last week I caught a glimpse of an animal running fast as fire across the road ahead of me. At first I thought it was a shaggy dog, black fur streaming behind it. But it ran faster than any dog I've seen, probably faster than I can ride my bike on the flat--somewhere between 25 and 30 MPH.

After a double take I realized it was a black bear, looking more dog-sized than bear-sized because of its streaming fur.

I've seen bear in the wild from grizzlies in Denali to black bear in the Smokies and they've always moved ponderously. This bear flew. It was a black streak, fast as a galloping thoroughbred.

I've read that motivated bears can outsprint horses but I never believed it. Now I do. Looking up the matter on the internet, I came across two fascinating accounts of the speed and agility of bears. The first, a 1937 publication of the Department of the Interior titled "Yellowstone Nature Notes" tells of grizzlies overtaking cars traveling 30 MPH--on one occasion, panicking residents of a rumble seat who pounded on the rear window of the sedan to get the oblivious driver to speed up. And they can run at such speeds for miles....

The second is an August 13 news video of a bear on the loose in a residential neighborhood in San Dimas, California. Though the bear in the video never runs full tilt (at least, it never approaches the desperation speed of the bear I saw last week), notice the speed and agility of the animal, even moving unthreatened through the neighborhood.

In Philly, one man confesses his faith...

(Tim) In Philly, yesterday, I came across this license plate. I'm guessing that, after a few years living in a state with so many Presbyterians, a guy could go crazy and use his license plate to state his independence. To ring his liberty bell.

Professional wrestling drama in the PCA big top...

"In fact, right now, I’m in a denomination where only men should be deacons and therefore that’s what I believe….and I mean…. that’s what I hold to…and that’s what I support and I don’t…... I do very little in the way of trying to undermine people’s belief on that."

- Tim Keller explaining that everyone watching him and his church and presbytery's actions for years, now, have misunderstood their significance. Completely misunderstood their significance. Things are not at all what they seem. Not at all.

(Tim) The debate between Tim Keller and Lig Duncan at the PCA General Assembly last month was a professional wrestling match with the conflict carefully scripted to produce no pain or danger. The room was packed with 750 commissioners and their wives, but if anyone showed up hoping for the appearance of consciences and convictions, they were disappointed: there there was none of this, "Here I stand; I can do no other; God help me" sort of thing.

Some of the statements documented here should have been met with raspberries or guffaws.

So, why give the exchange broader distribution?

Well, I'm hopeful those who weren't there will be scandalized. And, seeing the words in black and white, some who were there will realize they should have been scandalized and it's not to their credit they weren't.

This stuff is totally awful and the fact that no one said so is simply an indication of the hankering after fame and success that sells tabloids and woman church officers, alike...

Man bites lion...

(Tim, w/thanks to David W.) You've all heard the journalists' rule that the text "dog bites man" is a dog of a headline, while "man bites dog" is hard to beat? In a similar vein...

Chain, chain, chain,

Chain of food...

American Gothic...

(Tim) Driving past the Tribune Tower, I caught a glimpse of the headmaster of ClearNote Pastors College copping a Rob Bell posture. So, I ran out in the middle of North Michigan Avenue and caught the scene for prosperity's sake.

Name that preacher...

(Tim) Alright, guys; we're roaming the aisles at Christian Booksellers Convention just now and we've laid our hands on some humdingers. All the publishers have their celebrities' latest glossies free for the taking and, so far, this one takes the cake. We're betting you can't name this preacher.

Speaking of Dolce & Gabbana, those in the know tell us Rob Bell gets his threads at Goodwill; Tim Keller does Brooks Brothers, signing his check with a Mont Blanc; and Joel Osteen does Walmart.

And Bell's spectacular spectacles?

A robot's playlist...

(Tim) Updated to the latest version of iTunes, when I started the application just now, I got a message window announcing iTunes DJ. They tell me "iTunes DJ automatically picks songs to make a continuous mix of your music." And if I'm the host of a party, it will "allow guests to request songs using the Remote application for iPhone and iPod Touch."

I clicked the window closed and was presented with this first iTunes DJ selected playlist. Thought you'd all get a kick out of it.

Stuff white Christians like...

(Tim, w/thanks to Chantal) This blog poking fun at white Christians is kinda cute. Here's a teaser:

White Christians like to know that there will be more white Christians in the future. That's why every white Christian couple seeks to replenish the earth and subdue it... by adding 2.3 children into the church's Sunday school program. Exactly how churches handle babies is extremely important to white Christians.

They have been known to flock to churches with good baby care and preschool programs--even if the rest of the church is in complete disarray. The pastor could be having an affair with both church secretaries, holding three hour services, and reading from the King James Version while simultaneously converting to Mormonism... but if the nursery is good, that church has it made in the shade...

I'd like to see another on yellow and still another on black Christians. And if they had a black write the white and a yellow write the black and a white write the yellow, we'd really be in business.

Jerram Barrs has done research; he's so brave; he's my man...

(Tim) It's a great help to have Jerram Barrs continue at his post at Covenant Theological Seminary. But not for the reason you'd think.

Rather, because having him such a prominent voice representing Covenant's commitments and vision gives fair warning what kind of education men and women don't get there...

Five alarm fire...

(Tim) Six Flags, the owner of our nation's largest amusement parks with Bill Gates one of its major stockholders, has filed for bankruptcy. Undoubtedly, our non-federal government will take immediate action to nationalize this national treasure, assuring that our entertainment stupor will continue to serve as the foundation of our pliability and compliance.

THE BOX BASH II

In just a few short weeks, Church of the Good Shepherd will be hosting our second annual community event, THE BOX BASH II. Last year's carnival and concert hosted people from all over Bloomington and even a few out-of-state visitors. Among the many highlights were the Giant Moon Bounce for the children, the now famous Pastor Dunk Tank (of course, everyone got in on this), and the multifariously talented Good Shepherd Band playing everything from Bob Dylan to Arcade Fire. The food, the fun, the friendships being formed--all of it was a great success.

We're exuberantly awaiting Saturday, June 13th at 2 PM for another chance to get to know and serve our community. If you're in the area or want to come for a visit, join us! We're sure you'll enjoy yourself and everyone else. And if you like, we could find you a place to sleep Saturday night so you could stay for worship and the home fellowship group of your choice Sunday morning and afternoon. 

Only dopes do dope...

(Tim) Son Taylor passes on a link to this article which proves, once again, what had already been clear to most of us concerning bodybuilders...

Why men hunt in camo, with scopes and guns...

(Tim) Snopes says this story's quite accurate in its description of what would happen to the dumb person who tried it...

* * *

Deer Story

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed up...3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it. It took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received an education...

Pictures at an Exhibition...

(Tim) When one of your elders is selling his personal record collection to the Library of Congress in installments over a period of several years, it's not uncommon to leave meetings with a brain clogged by extraneous details like this gem from our last time together: Mussorgsky's Pictures at an Exhibition is the most arranged piece of classical music with Elder D. C. Canfield having, in his own possession, 300 arrangements and 1,000 different recordings of the piece.

In which Hannah meets her match...

(Tim) A couple days ago, daughter Hannah was over at daughter Heather's home, visiting. It fell to her to put Doug and Heather's son, Josiah (almost 4), down for his nap. Once, twice, three times she said to Josiah, "Josiah, it's time to go to bed; get in bed, Josiah; Josiah--did you hear me?--it's time to get in bed!"

Josiah made no progress toward the bed, instead finding a happy medium between rebellion against his aunt and submission to his mother as he responded, "Let's just let Mommy worry about that, shall we?"

"If the (cell) phone rings and an aayat can be heard in the toilet, it is a sin..."

(Tim, w/thanks to Jeff) Really.

He was nice and funny and normal...

(Tim: from David Wegener) Regular readers will recognize the author of this post, David Wegener, as one of David's and my closest friends and longtime resident sage here at the Baylyblog. David and his wife, Terri, are missionaries under Mission to the World. David is seconded to the Theological College of Central Africa in Ndola, Zambia, where David teaches and serves as Academic Dean. David and Terri's daughter, Lizzie, has been living in our home for the past two years, bringing us constant joy.

David posted this as a comment under "Christianity Today: In numbers too big to ignore," and I thought it should to be here, on the main page.

* * *

I started reading CT in the 70s and continued to read it through the 80s and 90s. But I let my subscription lapse. Though I have access to it in my college library, I rarely read it. No point, really; everything is very predictable, especially as long as those who are in charge remain in charge.

There is a definite trend in the articles, the authors of the articles, the editorial positions taken, etc. I'm waiting for some sharp young historian of American evangelicalism to do his dissertation analyzing CT from its inception up to the present day. What would he find?

Christianity Today, in numbers too big to ignore...

(Tim, w/thanks to Kamilla) Illustrating for the thousandth time their inability to think Biblically about sexual matters, here is the mission statement for the new blog for women just announced by Christianity Today named Her.minutiae...

Lately things just don't seem the same...

(Tim) Each week, I read the commentaries for the coming sermon text in copy form so I'm free to mark them up with abandon, and it's my habit to write the Scripture reference and name of the author on the front page of each copy. This past week, a dear brother helped me with this work and I thought you'd all get a kick out of what I found written at the top of the page of the first commentary I turned to:

Matthew 27:1-10: Jimmy Hendriksen

Cold as ice...

(Tim, w/thanks to Doug) This story has us chuckling. But of course, no good scientist will allow anecdotal evidence to shake his ideological commitments.

On the other hand, Al Gore has removed hurricanes from the evidence he's doing show and tell with on the witness stand. The calamities are not happening often enough to help the prosecution.

To any readers who care, I've arrived at a conclusion: No, I don't believe in global warning. A year ago, my mind was still open. It ain't no more.

Blog/Mablog: What we always knew in our heart of hearts...

(Tim, w/thanks to Lucas) You heard the man: "Quite gender neutral!"

Finally, the truth comes out, confirming what David and I have always known about our highly nuanced style compared to Doug's--what shall we call it--brutishness? It's a great joy to be honored in this way.

If someone can figure out a way to put various other reformed persyns through this test, we'd greatly enjoy hearing the results...

TacoBell's Canon...

(Tim) Most everyone in our family knows when son Taylor is not to be found at church, soccer, school, or home, he's sure to be found at Taco Bell. People around the world recognize his unique knowledge of all things Taco-Bellish, even down to menu items' proper eating techniques. So, if you have a question, feel free to ask it here in the comments section and Taylor will repond as time allows. And speaking of Taco Bell...

Yesterday, daughter Heather heard, and passed on to the rest of the fam, this excellent rendition of Tacobell's Canon. Son Joseph responded...

Darwinists throw their own monster's ball...

The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. (2 Peter 3:9)

(Tim) If our Lord tarries, this coming Thursday, February 12th, will be the 200th anniversary of Charles Darwin's birth. As her holy day approaches, Annie Laurie Gaylor of Madison's Freedom from Religion Foundation is plastering buses and billboards with intellectual cheesecake for fellow misanthropes. Real creative stuff like, "Imagine No Religion" and "Praise Darwin - Evolve Beyond Belief."

The president of the Skeptics Society (which publishes Skeptic magazine), Michael Shermer, isn't waiting for the holy day to celebrate. He assures fellow homo sapiens that his cult's high priests have a "pretty good outline" of the origin of life. But then he goes and spoils it all by saying something stupid like...

Carl McIntire ain't got nothing on us...

(Tim) If you want a good belly laugh, go here and read David Wegener's comment about fundamentalists' degrees of separation. And if you're inclined to be offended by the humor, I assure you some of our best friends are fundamentalists.

A dog's life in winter...

(Tim, w/thanks to Kamilla) Deep into the coldest weather of the winter, here, you gotta love this dog!

Wasted days and wasted nights...

(Tim, w/thanks to James) Remember Pascal's observation that most of what's wrong in the world can be traced back to a man not being content to spend his evenings quietly, at home? Well, here's a man who's got it down pat.