You try telling your wife she's a horse with a mane...

(Tim, w/thanks to Bryan Maes) Recently, someone told us he'd thought men had to have beards to attend Church of the Good Shepherd. Not true, although, like babies, we have a lot of beards...

But then, this afternoon I read this from early church father, Clement of Alexandria, and I'm wondering if we shouldn't make an addition to our church bylaws:

How womanly it is for one who is a man to comb himself and shave himself with a razor, for the sake of fine effect, and to arrange his hair at the mirror, shave his cheeks, pluck hairs out of them, and smooth them!…For God wished women to be smooth and to rejoice in their locks alone growing spontaneously, as a horse in his mane. But He adorned man like the lions, with a beard, and endowed him as an attribute of manhood, with a hairy chest–a sign of strength and rule. 2.275

This, then, is the mark of the man, the beard. By this, he is seen to be a man. It is older than Eve. It is the token of the superior nature….It is therefore unholy to desecrate the symbol of manhood, hairiness. 2.276

It is not lawful to pluck out the beard, man’s natural and noble adornment. 2.277

On the other hand, if we're going to outlaw plucking, too, I fear we might be inundated by unibrows, and if you'll pardon me for saying so, that's yucky.

Comments

[Alex Costa]

I have a pretty mean unibrow if I don't keep it groomed. I'm definitely glad that I pay attention to it, but I guess that makes me a girly man.

[Fr. Bill]

Try telling your beloved that her hair is like a flock of goats (Song 4:1).

Unibrows yucky? If the LORD formed them in the womb, you're gonna call His work yucky?

Seriously, Paul insists that the hair and its length are marks of sexual glory. It's a womanly glory to have longer hair than the man. That's why the covering in 1 Cor. 11 is covering two glories -- woman (the man's glory) and the woman's hair (which is the woman's glory) so that only God's glory is uncovered during worship.

[Nathan G]

Well nuts...I must not be destined for strength and rule--I have a smooth chest. My beard may be natural, but thin and scraggly as it is, it is jsut the opposite of a "noble adornment." I'm afraid I'll be sticking with razors for the time being...

[Archie]

Well at least we can go without using shaving cream, right? Just water and a razor. That's manly...

[Steve Henderson]

Then you have Harrison Ford, getting his chest waxed for the sake of the environment--so folks like us would realize that deforestation is painful.

Not making this up:

www.accesshollywood.com/article/
9231/harrison-ford-
gets-waxed-for-the-environment/

[Kamilla]

If the image of a horse's main is so offensive, why do we call it a "ponytail" when we pull our hair back in a scrunchie or band of some sort?

Just wunnerin'

Kamilla

[Barbara L.]

My husband can call me a horse with a mane as much as he'd like so long as long as he doesn't shave off his beard, or 5:00 shadow...mmmm...so manly.

[David L.]

From Wikipedia:

"There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless — boys and women — and I am neither one." -Greek saying

"A kiss without a moustache, is like soup without salt." - Breton saying

"A man without a moustache is like a cat without a tail." - Arab Saying

"A woman with a beard looks like a man. A man without a beard looks like a woman." - Afghan Saying

"The beard is the handsomeness of the face, and a wife is the joy in a man's heart." - R' Akiva, Eicha Rabbah

Leonato: You may light on a husband that hath no beard.
Beatrice: What should I do with him? Dress him in my apparel and make him my waiting-gentlewoman? He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man: and he that is more than a youth is not for me, and he that is less than a man, I am not for him… -William Shakespeare - Excerpt from 'Much Ado About Nothing' – Act 2, Scene I

Early Christian attitudes
St Clement of Alexandria
"The hair of the chin showed him to be a man." St Clement of Alexandria (c.195, E), 2.271

"How womanly it is for one who is a man to comb himself and shave himself with a razor, for the sake of fine effect, and to arrange his hair at the mirror, shave his cheeks, pluck hairs out of them, and smooth them!…For God wished women to be smooth and to rejoice in their locks alone growing spontaneously, as a horse in his mane. But He adorned man like the lions, with a beard, and endowed him as an attribute of manhood, with a hairy chest--a sign of strength and rule."
St. Clement of Alexandria, 2.275

"This, then, is the mark of the man, the beard. By this, he is seen to be a man. It is older than Eve. It is the token of the superior nature….It is therefore unholy to desecrate the symbol of manhood, hairiness.” St. Clement of Alexandria, 2.276

"It is not lawful to pluck out the beard, man’s natural and noble adornment." St. Clement of Alexandria, 2.277

St Cyprian
"In their manners, there was no discipline. In men, their beards were defaced." St Cyprian (c. 250, W), 5.438

"The beard must not be plucked. 'You will not deface the figure of your beard'." (Leviticus 19:27) St. Cyprian, 5.553

Lactantius
"The nature of the beard contributes in an incredible degree to distinguish the maturity of bodies, or to distinguish the sex, or to contribute to the beauty of manliness and strength." Lactantius (c. 304-314, W), 7.288

Apostolic Constitutions
"Men may not destroy the hair of their beards and unnaturally change the form of a man. For the Law says, “You will not deface your beards.” For God the Creator has made this decent for women, but has determined that it is unsuitable for men." Apostolic Constitutions (compiled c.390, E) 7.392.

[Rachel R.]

Well, I must confess I love my hubby's beard, but my daddy's beard doesn't really grow - it's just scraggly if he leaves it. And hubby's chest is not hairy. Guess neither of them is manly. (I have often wondered if the Amish DO something to get such consistently bushy beards, or if it's just genetic. My hubby has a decent beard, but it is by no means bushy.)

[Bike Bubba]

Kamilla, by that logic, do I get to call my wife something, um, porcine, because she's worn pigtails?

Not gonna try it. :^)

[Kamilla]

Oh. Forgot about that as I haven't worn them in decades!

Kamilla

[Abram hess]

I'd like to note that a few indisputably manly professions require the man to shave, notably: the armed services, the police force, and the fire service. In all three cases, utility and expediency overrule image: In both the armed services and the police force, a large bushy beard could prove deadly in close-quarters combat or arrest situations, providing the bad guy a convenient handle on your face to yank your head around with. In the fire service, it's a matter of life and death over personal protective equipment: A self-contained breathing apparatus (used for entering smoke-filled buildings) must make an air-tight seal against the man's face, or else he finds himself in a world of hurt (that is, a world of asphyxiation).

There has to be an exception to prove the rule, yes?