The European Union, again...
(Tim) This just forwarded by my dear Mary Lee. It is funny.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when...
the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In
the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer , ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pas on to oza pepl.
Vunderbar, simply vunderbar
Posted by: CarrollQuigley | Thursday, 20 December 2007 at 08:23 PM
When I read "the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement" I knew it was a hoax ;)
Posted by: Keith LaMothe | Friday, 21 December 2007 at 09:33 AM
Its a hox?
Posted by: Rachel Pierson | Friday, 21 December 2007 at 09:43 AM
LOL, especially as I live in an EU country.....
Seen years ago: "The European Union is Germany's way to be top dog in Europe without having to fight a war to make the point".
And closely related: "No-one knows how many Frenchmen it would take to defend Paris. It's never been done!"
Posted by: Ross | Friday, 21 December 2007 at 05:42 PM
No, we'd all be talking like we were in a 60's WWII movie! You can't beat German nouns- my favorite is in Matt 4:19 (you can't miss it): Und er sprach zu ihnen: Folgt mir nach; ich will euch zu Menschenfischern machen!
Posted by: Matt Nikirk | Friday, 21 December 2007 at 10:07 PM